I ran out of my blood sugar testing strips yesterday and I’m feeling rather at a loss.

I thought I could view it as a “holiday” from my diabetes but instead I’m finding that I’m spending lots of time wondering what my sugars are doing.

Lately, because my sugars have been high, I’ve been testing more often than usual. I test almost every morning and then at least a few more times during the day. I always test when I feel “funny” - like something is unusual or different.

My meter is so helpful - it confirms or refutes my suspicions in an instant.

Most often, I intuitively know what’s going on inside of me and my meter objectively backs me up. It’s only when my feelings and my meter don’t match up that I’m perplexed.

Sometimes I just don’t know why my blood sugar is betraying me. I rack my brain - what did I eat? am I feeling healthy? did I exercise enough? did I get extra carbs unknowingly?

And then I must be still, and remind myself, that this is all part of diabetes. I can’t control it. I can’t always outsmart it. I must let go.