This is #6 on dr. p’s list of important things you need to know about the emotional side of diabetes. Following is one of the components of “the social side” of diabetes.

6. Arresting The Diabetes Police

Friends and family may sometimes think it is their right to help you manage your diabetes, whether you like it or not. Sometimes too much “support,” especially if you didn’t ask for it, can feel like nagging.

When friends and family are bugging you about what to eat or what to do, you may tend to do the opposite of what has been suggested. “Don’t think I should eat that piece of cake? OK, then I’ll have two pieces!” Though they mean well, they have become the Diabetes Police, and you’ve become a Diabetes Criminal.

Start a conversation. Because they care about you, it may be impossible to stop your loved ones from trying to be helpful. So instead of telling them to stop “policing” you, harness their caring in a way that can work for you. Thank them for their concern about your health, explain that their actions are not helping you (if they are not), and let them know specifically how they can be of real help. A heartfelt conversation can help you all feel like you’re on the same team, with no police and no criminals.

Consider your own role. Your loved ones may be nagging because they worry you aren’t managing your diabetes well enough. If they are wrong, let them know how well you are doing by inviting them to your next medical appointment, sharing your A1c results, or having them accompany you to a diabetes education class. If they are right, consider how you might improve your diabetes care.

More excellent advice from Dr. Polonsky.

My husband is my number one supporter and I can honestly say he doesn’t nag me about my diabetes. Come to think of it, he really doesn’t nag me about anything. I truly feel accepted and appreciated by him and he does so many things to remind me of that. If I hear him talking about me from across the room, I trust that what he’s saying about me is something good. If I do anything for him, no matter how mundane, he remembers to thank me. He is such a positive force in my life.

I didn’t really intend this post to (d?)evolve into a tribute to K2, but there you have it. Even I can’t squelch the romance all the time.

“That’s what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get … more stuff!”

- George Carlin

My fingers have not been doing much blogging lately and I’m fairly bursting at the seams. Summer seems to get in the way of all things industrious and easily gives way to watching trash TV and lounging in all different forms. Summer to us also means lots of socializing - a chance to reconnect with family and friends.

We recently went to visit my in-laws who are of the “don’t-you-dare- throw-anything-out-that’s-still-good, and-that-means-basically -everything-you’ve-ever-owned” generation. They remind me of my mom’s parents, who kept every piece of styrofoam meat tray and washed-out plastic bag that ever entered their home.

I wrestle with both the genetic and environmental influences in my constant war against clutter. I admit it. I love stuff. But I hate, I mean I don’t care for, (the word hate is banned at our house) the feelings I get from excess stuff. It’s oppressing, and draining, and an incredible time waster. Purging, organizing, donating, and de-cluttering is now almost as fun as shopping for new stuff. The kids (the real stuff magnets in the family) are even getting good at sorting through their own stuff and deciding which stuff hasta go.

Now if only I could get them to talk to their grandparents about purging their stuff. I imagine something like this … “Grandma, about that old toilet in the playhouse…”

This is #5 of Dr. William Polonsky’s 10 things you need to know about the emotional side of diabetes.

5. Appreciating the Power of Pals

Diabetes is easier to manage when you have people in your life who are rooting for you. When you feel alone with diabetes, it is harder to handle.

Imagine the meaningful ways that loved ones could support you or help you feel less alone: for example, when family members join you in having healthier meals each night, when a good friend shares your anger or disappointment with a high blood sugar reading, when your spouse offers to help you with your next insulin injection, or when your neighbor agrees to join you for a brisk walk each morning. Just having someone in your life who cares can go a long way.

• Ask for the help you need. Many of your loved ones want to support your efforts, especially when you are trying to change your habits, but they may not know how to do so in a manner that fits your needs and respects your independence. So think of a small, specific way in which a friend or family member can be helpful, then ask for that help.
• Be a pal to your pals. Ask for support in a kind, considerate way. If you are too demanding, your loved ones may be unwilling to cooperate. Thank or acknowledge your loved ones when they offer support. Everybody appreciates positive feedback!
• Seek out new friends. Sometimes, friends and family just aren’t as supportive as you had hoped. So make some new friends who can understand the hassles of diabetes. Join a diabetes support group in your community. Your doctor or local hospital can help you find one that is right for you. Talking to other people with diabetes can help you feel less alone.

More excellent advice from Dr. P! I have certainly experienced first-hand the power of having a wonderful support network of friends and family. It makes everything from exercising to eating to empathizing much more fun.

But while support is wonderful, there’s a fine line between supporting and nagging. Everyone needs a break from their diabetes now and then. And everyone needs a little self-indulgence. Often, what’s not said to a person with diabetes, is even more important than what is.

A year or so ago I attended a free series of workshops entitled “Living a Healthy Life with Chronic Conditions.” While not limited to people with diabetes, it offers all kinds of great information for anyone living with a chronic disease. I will blog more about the course and contact information in an upcoming post.