7.  From Discouraged to Encouraged

Don’t let diabetes get you down.  Diabetes can be a lot of work and sometimes even your best efforts don’t seem to pay off - like when you follow your doctor’s recommendations exactly, but still your blood sugars are elevated!  That is understandably frustrating.  But it is not your fault.  There are ways to make diabetes care encouraging rather than discouraging.

• Measure your diabetes care success in a realistic manner.  You can never be perfect, nor do you need to be.  Blood sugars rise and fall, sometimes for no obvious reason.  So learn about the A1c test, a blood test that measures your average blood sugar over the previous 10-12 weeks.  Your A1c result is the best way to determine how you are really doing and it can help you handle the frustration of the wacky blood sugar readings.  For most people, if their A1c result is in a healthy range, then they are doing fine overall, even if their blood sugars are sometimes erratic.
• Don’t let blood sugar readings determine your self-esteem.  Blood sugar results are neither bad nor good; they are just information.  To help you remember, place a small piece of masking tape on your meter and write on it, “It is just a number.”
• Set clear, specific, short-term goals for action.  If you just have a vague sense that you should be “eating better” or “checking blood sugars more often,” you might believe you are never doing enough.  With your doctor’s help, determine what your most critical self-care tasks should be, and get specific.  For example, exactly how much exercise each week?  Or what type of dietary changes at dinnertime over the next month?  By clarifying your action plan, you can tell when you are successful.

This is a pretty tough one for me.  While I try not to let my “numbers” get me down, it’s pretty hard not to get discouraged when you see high numbers staring back at you from your meter.  This is especially difficult when I have exercised, and eaten right, and still those blood sugar numbers seem to be out of my control. 

I’m sure this is part of the whole “diabetes lesson” for me.  Things can be out of my control and I can live through them.  Heck, I may even learn something in the process.  But it is still a constant battle to remember that “I am not my blood sugar numbers.”

In addition to the specific-ness of goals, I think the realistic attainability of goals is of even greater importance.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t have huge lofty goals, but I definitely believe in the reinforcing properties of success.  I set goals, but make sure I can actually reach them.  Breaking goals down into smaller steps, with specific deadlines works well. 

I also have to spend time determining if it is really my own goal, or a goal I “think” I should be striving for.  I often put other people first, and hence I often put what I perceive to be other people’s goals for me first.  If you can make good sense of this, you have a promising career as a therapist awaiting you :-)  I have had to fight against the urge to continuously express myself only through what I do for other people.  My diabetes has again been an impetus in forcing me to see myself and to recognize my own needs.

In terms of goals, one of the toughest things for me is to be able to acknowledge and accept my successes.  I have had to work hard to be able to “let in” the good stuff and take credit when I deserve it.  For me, fear of success is a much bigger hurdle than fear of failure.