It’s hard to believe, but Wednesday June 20, 2007 marks my first anniversary of blogging.

To celebrate the 90 some-odd posts on my life (in general and specific), my family, my friends, my diabetes, my obsession with food and all things tasty, and my overall conviction to have some laughs while still upright, I’d like to invite you all, dear readers, to post some comments.

I know, I know, you don’t really want to post anything because you’re enjoying your anonymity while being a voyeur into my life. But what about if I promise you a chance for some nifty prizes? Or at least an opportunity to be read by tens of people (who can resist that?) Or you could see it as a chance to use up that vast resource of puns you have at your ready disposal. Or just an avenue for congratulating me on sticking to something for a whole year (did I mention I get bored easily?)

The reasons are countless and my gratitude would be fathomless. So please, take a moment to post a nifty little comment. I so want to hear from you.

More words of wisdom from Dr. P. - here is number 3 of the emotional side of diabetes.

3. Defeating Denial

Denial can be a valuable tool. It can be a good way to cope with negative feelings about diabetes, especially when you are first diagnosed or when the disease is feeling out of control.

But denial becomes a problem when it is your only way of coping. Instead of a temporary tool, it becomes a permanent way of life. The response to all diabetes aggravations becomes “I will not think about diabetes anymore.” This means trouble. When you tun your back on diabetes, your long-term health will be endangered.

• Learn the important facts about diabetes. Attend a diabetes educational class or support group in your area. You need to know that: a) diabetes is a serious disease that can harm you when it is not adequately controlled, even if you feel fine; b) ignoring diabetes is likely to cause more serious health problems; c) paying attention to diabetes can help you to live a longer, healthier life.
• Stay informed about your own health status. See your doctor regularly and complete all of the recommended medical tests (such as A1C, blood pressure and cholesterol). Know the results of these tests and what the results mean. When you are well informed, you feel more able to manage diabetes and keep it under control.
• Don’t do diabetes alone. Share your thoughts and feelings about diabetes with a friend. Confiding in someone you trust can help you to gain the support and perspective necessary for making sense out of your own emotions and attitudes.

For me, the regimen of gestational diabetes self-care was exhausting and overwhelming. Meeting a friend in pre-natal class who also had gestational diabetes was such a comfort. We helped each other through all the testing, eating restrictions, and exercising, and ultimately gave birth to healthy babies.

I don’t find it easy to reach out to others for help, but the rewards make it all worth while.

Also see polonsky #2 and polonsky #1.

I just finished reading a book by Nancy Snyderman called “Necessary Journeys - Letting Ourselves Learn from Life.” One of the topics she discusses is the choices she has made in her life in terms of her career (as a surgeon and medical correspondent), and her role as a mother. She says:

“… Does the work we do - whether that is the work of a stay-at-home mother or a job in the outside world - give each of us what we need?

When we are getting what we need - whether that’s a feeling of accomplishment from supervising homework or performing surgery, an income that supports us or improves our lives, or a sense of independence - we feel strong, act strong, and get better at everything we do. Doing feeds the soul. What a woman does in her life isn’t the point; it’s how she feels about it. And how her work, whatever it is, fills her up and rounds her out.”

I think it’s difficult for people, especially women, not to judge other women. Many of our judgments are based on superficial things like career. I know I instantly get a picture in my head when someone tells me what they do for a living.

I find it challenging to explain my own life path to others (probably because it’s always changing and even I’m not sure what it is!) People are always looking for an easy and convenient explanation - a label or a category to place you into. The truth is, for me, it’s never been that simple. I’ve always caught onto new things easily, and while that’s been great for starting things, the challenge quickly fizzles and I’m looking for something new.

For now, the answer for me is continuing to do many different things. Projects and contracts are great because they’re fun for a while and then they’re done. Continuing to go to school, to expand my mind and my spirit, works well for me. Writing feeds my creative needs, and my family overflows me with love and a whole spectrum of emotions. All I need now is some bucks!

My hair could probably be classified as a lethal weapon. I’m not kidding.

Today, when I was driving home, I felt pins and needles poking into the back of my arm. I looked at the car seat and saw nothing. Yet every time my arm touched the seat it was like a needle sticking into me.

Upon closer inspection I saw a tiny piece of my hair sticking out of the seat. I got my hair cut yesterday and a few little clippings fell off and got stuck in the front seat of the car. My hair is very coarse (strong, is the nice way my hairdresser puts it), and it can poke my husband’s eyes out if I’m not careful.

I’m sure it could be used to make some sort of medieval torture device - perhaps a hairshirt of the most heinous kind.

So keep your distance - a stray hair may be deadly.

I was gone for a much-needed and much-enjoyed short holiday, but am now back and satisfying my craving for blogging. I had every intention of blogging while I was away, but since I abandoned all my other duties as mom, wife, chief shopper (okay I still shopped), and self-designated worrier, I kinda let the blogging slip as well.

Even though I didn’t access the computer, I still wrote. I can’t help it. I think it’s the way I fully experience things. I experience them first, then ruminate on things, then write about them, and then re-experience and sometimes re-interpret them. For me, the writing is another step in processing the events.

While I was away I also spent time working on suspending my judgments. This is a work in progress for me, as I assume it is for most people. I am constantly making judgments, and this is especially true when I am in new situations. I am also constantly working on digging deeper into those judgments to find out what’s really going on in that murky brain of mine. It is so easy to judge, and so easy to assume. It’s much easier than actually trying to learn from and communicate with those around us.

But with judging comes withdrawal, and reliance on stereotypes, and a few superiority dances. And it all relates back to searching for that holy grail in life - total and complete acceptance and love of oneself. If you have that, you don’t need to judge. You don’t need to withdraw, assume, or stereotype, and you certainly don’t need to do your “superior dance” (altho’ that can be fun).

So, I would highly recommend a break from regular life for everyone. Just to get out of that safe, daily routine that is your life. Busy-ness often leads me to put those blinders on and just do what I do. It’s good to shake things up a bit and reach a little farther. It also doesn’t hurt to indulge in life a bit, and have ice cream for dinner.

Many thanks to Teens, Kev, and the boys, for a lovely holiday, many fond memories, and lots of blog fodder!

As promised, more of the “10 things you need to know about the emotional side of diabetes” from Dr. William Polonsky of the Behavioral Diabetes Institute.

2. Overcoming Depression

Depression is a serious problem, and it can be even more serious when you have diabetes. People with diabetes are almost twice as likely to develop depression as other people. If you are depressed, diabetes can become a lot harder to handle and your blood sugars are likely to rise. When your diabetes is out of control, this can make it even harder to escape depression. It becomes a vicious circle. The good news is that there are effective treatments that can help you recover your emotional health. These treatments can also help you improve your blood sugars and feel more in control of diabetes.

• Watch for the warning signs. If you are feeling down or helpless about life, have lost your “get up and go,” or are feeling reduced interest or pleasure from the things you used to enjoy, then talk to your doctor as soon as possible.

• Take action to avoid depression. Make sure to get a good night’s sleep as often as possible, stay active, and spend time with friends each day. Include activities in your daily life that are personally rewarding and meaningful, like taking an interesting class or volunteering at a local museum. All of these can be powerful antidepressants.

• If you are depressed, don’t just wait around and hope it will go away. There are several good medications and different forms of counselling that have been proven to help people recover from depression. Speak with your doctor about getting the help you need.

While I’ve been fortunate to escape depression myself, I have met many people battling this serious problem. Having diabetes (or any illness) coupled with depression, makes life even more challenging. Please take the opportunity to put yourself first, and get the help you need. It’s not easy to ask for help, but you’ll be a stronger person for it.

My hubby and I went to the Canadian Diabetes Association’s expo this weekend in Vancouver. My usual frustration with these expos are the depressing booths and the feeling of imminent demise from the complications of diabetes. We are battered with talk of kidney problems, eye problems, heart problems, mobility issues, foot problems, neuropathy, and on and on. We are told how to eat better, eat less, exercise more, check our blood sugars more often, ad nauseum. Sometimes I just want to run screaming from the building. I long for a bit of levity amidst all the doom and gloom.

Fortunately, this time I was surprised and inspired by listening to Dr. William Polonsky give an informative and entertaining lecture on “diabetes burnout.” Dr. Bill is a clinical psychologist who is an expert in the field of behavioral diabetes (I didn’t even know the field existed!). He talked about the emotional side of diabetes which includes the personal, social, and behavioral sides of the disease. I would love to have a DVD of his presentation. (I settled for buying his book, “Diabetes Burnout: What to Do When You Can’t Take it Anymore”).

I also picked up his pamphlet called “the emotional side of diabetes: 10 things you need to know.” I think it’s an invaluable resource and I thought I’d share some of the information here. Dr. Bill also has a website: www.behavioraldiabetes.org where you can learn more.

Anyway, here is #1 of the 10 things you need to know about the emotional side of diabetes:

1. Harnessing Your Fears

With good care, you can live a long, healthy life with diabetes. Many people think they are doomed to suffer terrible complications, but this is simply not true! Diabetes is a serious disease and some people do develop severe long-term complications, but most of these problems are preventable if you have good medical care and take good care of yourself. Feeling a little frightened is not necessarily a bad thing, but when your fears get so big that you feel helpless and hopeless, it’s time to take action. You need to harness fear to help you manage diabetes.

• Fight fear with knowledge. Learn about the powerful benefits of good diabetes care by talking to your doctor or enrolling in a diabetes education program.
• Know the real odds. Ask your doctor about what your real odds for developing complications might be, and what you can do to improve those odds.
• Stay informed. Subscribe to any of the popular diabetes magazines to keep informed about how to avoid or slow complications.
• Don’t put up with frequent lows. If you are anxious about hypoglycemia, talk to your doctor about medication changes that can help. Fear of hypoglycemia is about losing confidence in your body, worrying a serious reaction could happen at any moment. It can lead to chronically high blood sugars, eating problems and an overly restrictive lifestyle. With treatment, these problems can be resolved.
• Stay in charge. Remember that your own self-care can make a big difference to your health. You are not helpless! After all, it’s not diabetes itself that typically causes serious problems, it’s poorly-controlled diabetes. With good care, you can live a long and healthy life.

Hope you can find something relevant here. I’ll do my best to keep posting Dr. Bill’s words of wisdom!

I usually like to dispense advice in terms of what TO do instead of what NOT to do, but in this case I feel the DON’Ts are warranted. This is a work in progress, and open to suggestions and comments from all.

Things NOT to buy women as gifts:

- cleaning supplies

- weight loss books

- wrinkle cream (or should I say anti-wrinkle cream)

- cellulite treatments

- bikinis

- live animals

- dead animals

- wounded animals

- anything to do with farting

While certainly not exhaustive, it’ll be a fun list to update!

Okay, I admit it. I used to suffer from extreme potty mouth. I liked all those four letter words, but especially the f-bomb. It’s just so versatile (as my hubby says).

After my first daughter was born, my husband decided it was time to put the kibosh on all the swearing. He didn’t want his precious daughter showing up at preschool swearing a blue streak. Thus, the “swear kitty” was born. This ingenious device was meant to hold all the money I had to pay each time I used a bad word (with half-price swearing during Canucks’ games). Well, after I filled the thing many times over in the first day or two, I decided to punt it and take matters into my own hands.

I stopped swearing. Well, at least under most normal circumstances and within earshot of my daughter.

But now I fear it has turned me into a swearing-prude. I really don’t like to hear curse words much anymore. Especially shouted out windows in fits of road rage, and used casually in everyday conversation in front of my kids, by oblivious teenagers. (Aren’t teenagers just 6 foot tall 2-year-olds?)

So that got me thinkin’ about other ways in which prudishness has sneaked up on me. I don’t particularly think people should live together before they get married (I lived with my husband for 5 years before we got married). I shocked myself when I realized that one. We did what? Good gracious.

Is it age, or just that my memory is failing? Who knows. But by the time my own kids are teenagers, I’m sure they’ll think I’ve completely forgotten that I was once very young and very foolish.

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they’re the first to be rescued off sinking ships.

- Gilda Radner

For me, the advantage to being a woman has more to do with choices. Women can work, or not. We can have babies, or not. We can stay home with the kids, or not. We can work full time, or part time, or not. We can look outside of our jobs for our identities, or not. We can lean on our men, or not. We can be independent, or not. We are allowed to share our feelings, or not. We are allowed to express ourselves, or not.

I’m not saying it’s easy to be a woman, or a person for that matter. And I know my ability to make choices is the product of my upbringing, my education, my social status, my family, my husband, my environment, my health, and so on. But I feel so lucky to be a woman.

And even luckier to be a mom. Happy Mother’s Day everyone.