I was gone for a much-needed and much-enjoyed short holiday, but am now back and satisfying my craving for blogging. I had every intention of blogging while I was away, but since I abandoned all my other duties as mom, wife, chief shopper (okay I still shopped), and self-designated worrier, I kinda let the blogging slip as well.

Even though I didn’t access the computer, I still wrote. I can’t help it. I think it’s the way I fully experience things. I experience them first, then ruminate on things, then write about them, and then re-experience and sometimes re-interpret them. For me, the writing is another step in processing the events.

While I was away I also spent time working on suspending my judgments. This is a work in progress for me, as I assume it is for most people. I am constantly making judgments, and this is especially true when I am in new situations. I am also constantly working on digging deeper into those judgments to find out what’s really going on in that murky brain of mine. It is so easy to judge, and so easy to assume. It’s much easier than actually trying to learn from and communicate with those around us.

But with judging comes withdrawal, and reliance on stereotypes, and a few superiority dances. And it all relates back to searching for that holy grail in life - total and complete acceptance and love of oneself. If you have that, you don’t need to judge. You don’t need to withdraw, assume, or stereotype, and you certainly don’t need to do your “superior dance” (altho’ that can be fun).

So, I would highly recommend a break from regular life for everyone. Just to get out of that safe, daily routine that is your life. Busy-ness often leads me to put those blinders on and just do what I do. It’s good to shake things up a bit and reach a little farther. It also doesn’t hurt to indulge in life a bit, and have ice cream for dinner.

Many thanks to Teens, Kev, and the boys, for a lovely holiday, many fond memories, and lots of blog fodder!

As promised, more of the “10 things you need to know about the emotional side of diabetes” from Dr. William Polonsky of the Behavioral Diabetes Institute.

2. Overcoming Depression

Depression is a serious problem, and it can be even more serious when you have diabetes. People with diabetes are almost twice as likely to develop depression as other people. If you are depressed, diabetes can become a lot harder to handle and your blood sugars are likely to rise. When your diabetes is out of control, this can make it even harder to escape depression. It becomes a vicious circle. The good news is that there are effective treatments that can help you recover your emotional health. These treatments can also help you improve your blood sugars and feel more in control of diabetes.

• Watch for the warning signs. If you are feeling down or helpless about life, have lost your “get up and go,” or are feeling reduced interest or pleasure from the things you used to enjoy, then talk to your doctor as soon as possible.

• Take action to avoid depression. Make sure to get a good night’s sleep as often as possible, stay active, and spend time with friends each day. Include activities in your daily life that are personally rewarding and meaningful, like taking an interesting class or volunteering at a local museum. All of these can be powerful antidepressants.

• If you are depressed, don’t just wait around and hope it will go away. There are several good medications and different forms of counselling that have been proven to help people recover from depression. Speak with your doctor about getting the help you need.

While I’ve been fortunate to escape depression myself, I have met many people battling this serious problem. Having diabetes (or any illness) coupled with depression, makes life even more challenging. Please take the opportunity to put yourself first, and get the help you need. It’s not easy to ask for help, but you’ll be a stronger person for it.

I usually like to dispense advice in terms of what TO do instead of what NOT to do, but in this case I feel the DON’Ts are warranted. This is a work in progress, and open to suggestions and comments from all.

Things NOT to buy women as gifts:

- cleaning supplies

- weight loss books

- wrinkle cream (or should I say anti-wrinkle cream)

- cellulite treatments

- bikinis

- live animals

- dead animals

- wounded animals

- anything to do with farting

While certainly not exhaustive, it’ll be a fun list to update!

I think I gain the most insight when I see myself reflected back to me in someone else.

This can be especially true when I don’t like what I see. Take today for instance. I was listening to someone complain. And complain. And complain.

Complaining is not attractive. It makes you look old and stressed. And it makes you hard to be around.

Oh sure, we all have beefs. And we all need to hash out our beefs with a few friends. I have no problem with that. Nothing like a few hours of free friendship therapy every day. But there’s a fine line between that and the numbing drone of a whiner who is constantly looking for the bad in everything and everyone.

That is draining and literally repellent.

So I made a pact today with myself. To continue looking for the good in people. To continue to be grateful for the amazing-ness that is my life. And to enjoy every moment, even the ones spent with whiners.

For a recent birthday I was given an anti-aging product. Something called an intensive treatment for face and neck - a ceramide advanced time complex (what the heck does that mean anyway?).

I can now report that the bags under my eyes are noticeably plumper.

I keep harping on the fact that I’m high maintenance, but the truth is, I’m pretty darn expensive too.

For instance, I’ll pass on the mashed potatoes, but have a lobster tail with my dinner instead.

I had a girlfriend at university who said that if she wasn’t sure what to have when she went out to a restaurant, she’d just pick the most expensive thing on the menu.

It works for me.

I recently went with a friend to Rangoli in Vancouver.

Ever since, I swear I have been fantasizing about the incredible meal I ate there.

It was this unbelievably rich and delicious curry - portobello mushrooms, sweet red peppers and paneer (the Indian cheese).

Heaven on a plate.

Feed me some good food and all is forgiven.

I suck at being needy. I really do. I much prefer to be competent, confident, and independent, without having to be vulnerable or ever ask for help.

My dietitian once asked me “if you were given a gift, and inside it was your diabetes, what would you say your diabetes has given you?”

My diabetes has definitely taught me how to ask for help, and how to accept help when it is offered.

I’m usually much more comfortable being strong, independent and resentful than I am comfortable with receiving love and nurturing.

So I try to remind myself how good it makes me feel to help others. How could I deny someone that feeling when they want to help me?

Okay BJ, you know this one’s for you.

While trying to think of ways to “roast” you on your big day, I came to the conclusion that it is a virtually impossible feat. You sail through life with such grace and charm. You make it all look so effortless.

How can you “roast” someone who is generous, gorgeous, passionate about life and food(!), an incredible mom and wife, and a cherished friend?

So I give up. No “Dogbert”-ian speechifying today. Happy Birthday to you BJ - the undisputed winner of “the best 80’s hair!”